


Another One Bites The Dust

by EHSparkwoman



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Paintball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 08:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13654950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHSparkwoman/pseuds/EHSparkwoman
Summary: After hearing suggestions from their human allies; the Transformers agree to test a new simulation. One that will force them to work together.





	Another One Bites The Dust

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own Transformers, it belongs whoever created it. But… I do own a small army of Transformers toys. I randomly determined who was getting partnered up for this fic with aid of a 20-sided die. So if the partners seem random; that’s why! Definitely AU, with the Bots and Cons not fighting. They still don’t like each other much though. The Bots and Cons came to Earth to try and get the resources to restore Cybertron. And bold speech is Bumblebee speaking.

No one was sure whose idea this was. Probably one of the humans; since it was their planet the game originated on. Either way, both sides had thrown themselves into making it happen.

“Right, so how are we doing this?” Cliffjumper asked. Miko gave him a look.

“Raf has this random generator which will pick your teams.” Miko told him.

“What are the rules?” Ultra Magnus asked.

“Oh, Fowler can explain.” Miko dropped him in it.

“You score points by hitting other teams. You lose points for each hit you take. Once it’s been worked out how many hits you’ve scored minus how many hits you’ve taken; you get your overall score.” Fowler told them.

“Oh, so I’m going to win this then?” Megatron smirked.

“Maybe not.” Jack purposefully phrased it like that; he didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Megatron’s temper.

“Also, transforming is forbidden and you can’t use any abilities.” Miko gave Airachnid a look.

“I wouldn’t think of it!” Her tone suggested otherwise.

“However, a lot of the cover is quite easy to climb, if you would like to that is.” Jack’s comment earned a few wicked smirks.

“And don’t start until we tell you to.” Raf told them.

“Shall we get on with it?” Starscream asked, rubbing his hands together.

“Right, first transformer for the red team is…” Raf paused while the simulation chose one of them.

“Skyquake!” Miko cheered. June picked up one of the rings; though it was the size of a Frisbee to her. She handed it to Skyquake, who was just about to slip on to his left hand ring finger when he heard a cry.

“No! You can’t put it on that finger! It’s bad luck!” June told him. Skyquake shook his head; some of these human customs were confusing. He slid the ring on to his right hand ring finger instead. Immediately afterwards colour flowed over Skyquake’s body, turning his green parts red.

“It looks strange…” Dreadwing shivered, dreading to think what colour he was going to be.

“It doesn’t feel any different though.” Skyquake told them.

“And he will be partnered with…” Raf let his simulation work again.

“Airachnid.” June gave the femme a ring and she slipped it on to her right hand ring finger. It didn’t escape Fowler’s notice that some of the male Decepticons and a couple of the male Autobots were watching the colour flow over Airachnid’s frame.

“Like what you see, boys?” Miko, June and Arcee had to laugh at the sheepish looks some of the observers gave in reaction. They obviously hadn’t realised they’d been spotted. Airachnid lifted one of her hands up so she could have a look at the colour she now was.

“Hey, he wouldn’t have changed colour if he’d been picked!” Airachnid pointed at Knock Out.

“Apparently the humans realised it is a nice colour.” Knock Out shrugged, grinning at the humans.

“We’d have changed the colour if Knock Out was picked for the red team.”

“Maybe burgundy instead of poppy red?” Jack queried; glad he didn’t have to choose.

“Both of you collect your weapons, ammo and then make your way through the ground-bridge.” Fowler told both of them. They nodded, each picking an ammo belt and gun out of the red box, before heading through the ground-bridge.

“Orange team now!” Miko cheered, glancing around the mechs, and femme, left. She decided she _really_ wanted Knock Out to be on this team.

“First is… Optimus Prime.” The remaining Decepticons, with exception of Shockwave and Soundwave, cracked up laughing.

“Here you go… Optimus.” June acted like she had a crush on Optimus; earning the cry of ‘Mom!’ from Jack like she’d wanted to. Optimus put the ring on his finger, the middle one on his left hand. Orange spread over his body quickly.

“It looks stunning on you Optimus!”

“ **You are not being sincere!** ” Bumblebee shouted at Starscream.

“I wouldn’t laugh Starscream; you might be next!” Miko’s comment silenced him, earning a few more laughs. Raf’s simulation was running again.

“Bumblebee.” He told the mechs. Bumblebee collected his ring and put it on the little finger on his left hand. His body went from yellow to the colour of an orange fruit.

“You know what to do you two.” Fowler had changed the location the ground-bridge was sending them to; but they weren’t to know that. Bumblebee and Optimus collected their weapons and headed through the ground-bridge.

“The first transformer on the yellow team is…” Raf paused.

“Dreadwing.” This got a few laughs.

“Alright then.” He knelt down beside June to collect the ring. She looked a little flustered when he took it. Dreadwing slid the ring on his left index finger and yellow flowed over his body. It was the same colour as his wings on his back.

“No, _that_ looks stunning!” Knock Out laughed, before realising that he could be next.

“And… Breakdown!” Jack grinned.

“Oh, I really don’t want to be yellow.” Breakdown sounded disappointed, but collected a ring anyway. The yellow flowed over him after he slid the ring on to the little finger of his right hand.

“You two know what to do.” Fowler grinned; lemon yellow really didn’t suit Breakdown. Dreadwing and, his partner he supposed; collected their weapons and headed through the ground-bridge.

“Green team!” Miko cheered.

“I hope I’m on this team!” Bulkhead grinned. He then saw Raf start laughing and realised what must have happened.

“Bulkhead!” He grinned, but then realised something. He began fiddling with something on his computer, getting approval at his choice from Miko; before nodding to June. June gave Bulkhead a ring which he put on the little finger of his right hand. Miko grinned; he and Breakdown may not like each other, but they acted alike! A minty green flowed over Bulkhead.

“How do I…?” Bulkhead’s optics widened when he saw what colour he was now.

“That’s… different.”

“I’d have used cute… if you were skinnier.” Knock Out told him, sniggering at the colour.

“And the other mech is Soundwave.” Jack grinned. Soundwave stepped forward, holding out his hand for the ring. June placed one in his palm, a little nervous of him still. Soundwave slid it on to the index finger of his right hand. Everyone either blinked or shuttered their optics once when the colour had flowed over Soundwave.

“You look so much better in those colours.” Megatron told him, before turning his head away. The humans giggled; thinking of what that might mean.

“Collect your weapons and move out!” Fowler smiled; he was enjoying this already; and it hadn’t even begun yet! Bulkhead and Soundwave collected their weapons from the green box and headed through the ground-bridge.

“Now for the blue team!”

“The blue mechs won’t even be on it!” Smokescreen pointed out, earning a few laughs.

“Wheeljack!” Miko grinned. June smiled at him when he knelt down to receive his ring. He put it on his right ring finger and sky blue flowed over his body.

“That looks… actually quite nice.” Knock Out silently hoped he was on this team.

“And Arcee.” Jack grinned. That announcement prompted a few whistles and cheers. Wheeljack looked a little flustered.

“Lone wolves hook up!” Miko grinned.

“Miko…” Wheeljack scratched the back of his head. Arcee meanwhile had collected her ring and had slid it on to her left middle finger. Sky blue flowed down her body, to the appreciation of most of the remaining mechs.

“Take your weapons… lone wolves.” Fowler grinned. Wheeljack often annoyed him; this was sweet revenge! Wheeljack and Arcee took their weapons from the blue box and headed through the portal.

“Purple team. The first mech is…” Raf realised all of the transformers left were male and so said so.

“Ultra Magnus.” June had glanced over Raf’s shoulder and read it out. She collected a ring and Ultra Magnus slid it on to the middle finger of his right hand. Lilac flowed over his body.

“That is a nice shade of purple. Not as nice as Shockwave’s but…” Starscream commented. Raf laughed again and Starscream realised what must have happened.

“Good thing you like the colour Screamer, because you’re going to be wearing it!” Miko laughed. Starscream didn’t appreciate the nickname, but collected his ring from June. He slid it on the middle finger of his left hand, causing lilac to flow over his body as well. Megatron shuttered his optics then turned back to Starscream.

“Smile for me.”

“Um… why?” Starscream looked worried.

“Just do it Screamer, Megatron clearly has something on his mind.” Starscream growled at Knock Out’s comment.

“Either that, or Megs _really_ thinks you look hot like that.” Cliffjumper said with a wicked grin. Starscream shrugged; silently hoping that wasn’t it, but smiled as asked.

“Yes, I thought so!” Megatron grinned back, and Starscream had a confused look on his face.

“What?”

“You look just like Skywarp!” Starscream looked offended at this comment.

“Primus, he really does!” Knock Out laughed, knowing it was annoying Starscream.

“Who’s Skywarp?” Jack asked.

“Starscream’s wing-mate. They don’t get on very much; so Starscream resents being compared to him.”

“Arms up you two!” Fowler shouted, jolting Starscream out of his annoyance. Both he and Magnus collected their weapons out of the purple box and headed through the portal. Miko tried to tell them which team was next, but couldn’t because she was laughing too hard.

“The first mech on the pink team is…” Raf started giggling as well. June shook her head; unable to understand what the joke was.

“Cliffjumper!” Jack told the collected mechs.

“Alright then.” Cliffjumper stepped forward and collected his ring from June, putting it on his right ring finger. _Baby pink_ flowed over his body replacing the red and everyone starting laughing at that; even Shockwave.

“I look ridiculous, don’t I?” Cliffjumper asked.

“Just a tad!”

“I wouldn’t laugh you lot, you could be next!” June’s comment silenced them all.

“And Smokescreen.” Four mechs breathed a sigh of relief that they wouldn’t be that ridiculous colour. Smokescreen collected his ring and slipped it on to his left hand middle finger. The same shade of baby pink flowed over him, changing his usual white to pink.

“Aw, don’t you look cute?” Knock Out smirked; glad he wasn’t going to be wearing this colour.

“Shut it! I’ll make sure to shoot you where it hurts!” Smokescreen shouted at him.

“Promises, promises.” Knock Out grinned, making Smokescreen mad.

“Collect your weapons.”

“And head through there, we know Agent Fowler.” Cliffjumper finished his sentence and headed over to the pink box for his weapon. He and Smokescreen headed through the portal, guns in hand.

“Two more draws; then we know which teams are which.” Jack told the four remaining mechs.

“That is only logical.” Shockwave pointed out.

“Knock Out is on the white team.” The look on Knock Out’s face to Raf’s comment said it all.

“White? Do you _know_ how much these paint splatters are going to show up?” Knock Out complained.

“Come and get your ring, you big whiner!” June had had enough of Knock Out’s whining already. He collected his ring and put it on his right ring finger. White washed over his body.

“Oh, now if that doesn’t make you look stunning!” June told him.

“At least, until you get shot!” Miko laughed, knowing how vain Knock Out was.

“His partner is… Megatron.” Raf told the remaining mechs.

“Care to put this ring on for me?” He knelt down beside June, extending his right ring finger. It made June blush and both Jack and Fowler shout at him that he shouldn’t be doing that. Exactly the reaction he was hoping for. June did as was asked though and soon white colour flowed over Megatron.

“You and you; get your weapons and get out!” Fowler pointed at first Knock Out then Megatron and finally the ground-bridge portal.

“Someone is tetchy… I wonder why?” Megatron smirked; knowing exactly why. He and Knock Out grabbed their weapons and headed through the portal.

“Ratchet and Shockwave, you’re the black team.” Miko told them.

“That colour will be perfect for hiding.” Shockwave commented, heading over to June for his ring. She gave him one and he slid it on his right index finger. Black instantly washed over his body, changing the purple parts of his body.

“Oh wow, you look even more intimidating like that!” Raf shivered, knowing Shockwave would appreciate it.

“Ratch, your turn.” Miko heard grumbles in response. Ratchet made his way over to June and collected the last ring. He slipped into the little finger of his left hand. Ratchet looked… terrifying, not that anyone would tell him that.

“Collect your weapons and go through the portal.” Fowler told both of them. Ratchet and Shockwave collected the two remaining weapons, in the black box, and went through the portal.

XxX

Somewhere in the arena…

Skyquake and Airachnid both walked through the portal, noticing lots of metallic trees. Neither noticed it had closed behind them. Both of them put their ammo belts on and attached the optic protection. They heard getting a paintball in the optic could be quite painful.

“As soon as we are told we can go, I’m climbing up one of these.” Airachnid told Skyquake.

“Fine; I’ll head that way.” Skyquake pointed towards a spot that seemed lighter. Optimus and Bumblebee came through the portal somewhere else in the metallic forest.

“ **I want to go that way**.” Bumblebee pointed towards the lighter direction as well.

“Then I shall journey to the… is that way east?” Optimus pointed to his right. There was no way to get an idea of which way was which under the artificial light. Dreadwing and Breakdown appeared near another patch of trees.

“I think I’ll hide up here, if I can climb up that is…” Dreadwing glanced up the tree nearest him, unsure if he could actually climb it.

“I’ll head towards the lighter bit then.” Breakdown knew he’d have to hide behind the trees carefully so he didn’t get seen. Bulkhead and Soundwave both gave each other a look, knowing to go in different directions.

“Shall I go that way?” Bulkhead pointed to his left. Soundwave nodded; pointed to himself then towards the middle.

“Alright, you go that way.” Bulkhead agreed. Wheeljack and Arcee both took a look around. Both of them decided they were going to head towards the lighter bit. Ultra Magnus and Starscream glanced around as well.

“I’m hiding up there.” Starscream pointed at a rather thick branch part way up the tree nearest him.

“Fine; I’ll go that way.” Magnus pointed towards the lighter bit. Cliffjumper and Smokescreen both decided they were going to head towards the lighter bit.

“I think I’ll hide behind… uh, stick close to you.” Knock Out hoped that Megatron hadn’t heard the first bit.

“Well I’m going that way, come with me or not, it’s up to you.” Megatron had also pointed towards the lighter bit. Shockwave and Ratchet both appeared in another bit of forest.

“I am going to stay around here. That is logical, since everyone else will move somewhere else.” Shockwave heard a noise of agreement.

“I’m going that way.” Ratchet pointed towards the lighter area he could see.

“Alright mechs and femmes, your hour begins… now!” Miko shouted at them over the coms, making all of them spur into motion.

XxX

Knock Out did exactly what he said was going to; using Megatron as a shield. They made their way to the clearing in the middle, not realising how many other mechs and femmes had had the same idea.

“Um… that has got to be a trap hasn’t it?” Knock Out shivered, carefully holding his gun.

“Go and find out for me.” Megatron gave Knock Out what was, to him, a gentle shove. It nearly sent Knock Out sprawling into the clearing.

“Hey! Be careful!” Knock Out shouted at him, nervously making his way towards the centre of the clearing. Holding his gun ready to shoot anyone he spotted, he glanced around for any of the others. He was now stood in the middle, convinced something bad was going to happen. He got a bit of a jolt when he got shot from at least eight different directions.

“Frag!” Knock Out sprinted back to the tree line where he’d come from. He noticed Megatron wasn’t there. _Must have scarpered when I got hit._ Knock Out mused, not wanting to see what condition he was in.

In actuality, Megatron had sent Knock Out into the clearing to find out how many of the others were around here. He saw shots shoot out from all directions, one red, one orange, one yellow; which amusingly hit Knock Out’s rear, one green, two blue; both from a similar direction, one purple, two pink; from slightly different directions, and one black. He knew that meant most of the mechs, and possibly femmes, were hidden around here and ran back the way he’d come. He wanted to try and avoid getting hit if he could. He’d made his way back to an area close to where they’d started, and headed… well, he figured it was east, around the edge of the arena.

_It’s quite boring sitting up here…_ Airachnid thought to herself, still perched up the tree she’d said she was going to climb. She could see Skyquake hiding behind a tree near the lighter bit; unbeknownst to her, a clearing. She also glanced just to her left and spotted… _Is that… Oh! It is!_ She had to try very hard not to laugh; a _bright orange_ Optimus was the last thing she’d been expecting to see. She waited until he’d made his way past; thankfully not spotting Skyquake, and took aim at his back. She fired a shot and it hit her target. She saw him jump, but he didn’t look up. She knew she’d picked a good spot then. _They never look up._ Airachnid mused, keeping her optics out for any other unwary bots and cons wandering about.

“Divide and conquer!” Smokescreen whispered to Cliffjumper, both sneaking in opposite directions around the edge of the clearing. It didn’t take long for Smokescreen to spot Ultra Magnus behind a tree not far ahead. He took careful aim and fired a shot. It collided with Magnus’ shoulder and he glanced towards where Smokescreen was hiding, but didn’t see him. Smokescreen inwardly cheered; he’d got away with it. He then felt a shot collide with his right shoulder and pondered where that had come from. He wasn’t to know Starscream was hidden up a tree in the direction the shot had come from.

Cliffjumper meanwhile, had went around the edge of the clearing and quickly almost walked into Ratchet. Both of them jumped; before each firing a shot. Both shots hit their target in the chest, before both bots hid behind a nearby tree. Ratchet felt another shot hit him, this time in the back and he quickly turned, but didn’t see anyone there. He cursed; knowing someone had snuck up on him.

_This is… uncomfortable…_ Dreadwing fidgeted, this branch he had perched on was a little too thin for him. The only other con he could see was Breakdown; who was slowly making his way back towards him. He was trying to spot another mech, or femme. He twitched and wobbled a little. _Right, that’s it; I’m getting out of this tree._ Dreadwing thought, but then spotted Bulkhead heading towards him. He lifted the gun and fired a shot. The gun’s kickback made him wobble, but he grabbed the branch with his other hand. He saw it hit Bulkhead in the chest and the mech he’d just hit look right at him. _Frag._ Dreadwing saw Bulkhead ready his gun and knew there was no way he could dodge. He had an idea what to do though and waited. He felt the shot hit and let himself fall from the branch, shouting as he fell. Bulkhead looked worried and ran over.

“You ok? That fall looked nasty.” Bulkhead looked concerned. He quickly started to move when Dreadwing shot him with his paintball gun.

“You think a Seeker didn’t learn how to land properly after a fall?” Dreadwing asked rhetorically, firing another shot. Bulkhead decided that, yes, a Seeker knew how to land after a fall, considering Dreadwing had shot him twice now in quick succession.

_There’s got to be mechs around here somewhere…_ Megatron thought, keeping his gun ready to shoot at any of the others he came across. _Oh look! Just who I wanted to find!_ Starscream grinned; Megatron had just walked into his crosshairs. He took aim at his leader and fired. Megatron felt a shot hit him and turned. He saw a lilac coloured wing in the tree behind him. _Starscream. I should have guessed._ Megatron carefully snuck behind a tree, not wanting to be hit again. He made his way around so he was now at the side of the tree he saw the wing in. He took aim and fired, a white splash hitting Starscream’s wing. A shriek was heard by the others in the centre.

“Starscream.” Arcee grinned at Wheeljack. She quite literally had his back. He was paying attention to the clearing and so she was making sure that he didn’t get blasted in the back. She noticed movement just to her right and fired, unsure if she’d landed a hit or not. She heard a curse and assumed she’d got someone. She felt a shot strike her in the chest and nudged Wheeljack. Both of them moved off somewhere else. Wheeljack noticed the splash on Arcee was red. _Wonder if Airachnid got her…_ He thought while rushing to find new cover.

Shockwave remained stood by the tree the portal had opened beside. He was taking care to watch both directions. He spotted a hint of white and pondered who that might be. _Megatron…_ Shockwave took aim and fired. Megatron felt a shot hit him and glanced around. It had hit his arm, making him ponder where the mech that had shot him was.

“I know you’re around here, come out and face me like a mech!” Shockwave stiffened when Megatron shouted at him. He heard another shot hit something and then another shout. Inevitably, Megatron shouting had attracted attention and he’d been shot again. Megatron took a look at this shot. _Pink, so either Cliffjumper or Smokescreen then…_ He moved away from the area where Shockwave was, getting hit in the back by Shockwave when he didn’t move quickly enough. _That move was highly illogical._ Shockwave would have grinned if he’d been capable of it.

XxX

All of them were just getting into the swing of things, when they heard a voice over the coms. They weren’t to know they were about half way through their time.

“Anyone who is not within the lit section within the next five minutes will be disqualified.” Agent Fowler grinned, knowing this particular move would shift the campers from the trees. The mechs and femmes near the outer edge noticed it had become darker where they were. The only bit that didn’t was the clearing in the centre and a few rows of trees around it.

“Frag… I’m going to be every colour _but_ white if I have to go in there…” Knock Out grumbled, slowly making his way to the nearest tree in the lit section. He’d been hoping to hide near the edge and avoid everyone after the disaster at the start. Airachnid glanced around and saw no mechs, or Arcee, hiding around there. She scrambled down from the tree and scuttled towards the centre. She was going to get shot now; she just knew it.

“I can’t believe someone shot me, I was perfectly hidden!” Starscream grumbled; climbing out of the tree he’d hidden in. He glanced around; frightened that someone was going to sneak up on him. _I’ll teach you Starscream._ Cliffjumper snuck up behind Starscream, aiming between his wings. Starscream felt the shot hit and jumped, running behind the nearest tree.

“Who dares?!” Starscream shouted, now feeling a shot hit his wing. He realised there were too many mechs around here and ran for the centre. Cliffjumper and Smokescreen met up and high fived, carefully following the cowardly seeker.

“One minute left until you’re out, mechs!” Miko shouted; she knew Arcee and Airachnid were in the middle already. The few remaining mechs on the outside of the lit circle made their way into it. Starscream didn’t like the looks of this; he could see several mechs hiding behind trees nearby. He didn’t think he could hit them and he wanted out of there! He tried to leave the lit area but found out the hard way he couldn’t.

“What the frag?” He’d walked into something solid. There was nothing there though.

“They must have put up a force field to keep us in…” Starscream shrieked then, he felt something hit him and he darted behind the nearest tree. _I don’t want to play this game anymore!_ He thought, not wanting to give away his position to everyone else.

“I know you’re all around here…” Megatron called to the others; hoping to lure one of them out. A green shot hit him. He turned to face the mech who it was, but couldn’t quite find him. He got hit in the chest then and knew he was on the right track. He spotted who it was and fired, striking Soundwave’s arm just as he shot. Soundwave’s shot hit a nearby tree, making the mech hiding behind it jump. _That was too close! Now, where’s Bulkhead…_ Breakdown was glancing around trying to find his rival. He spotted a hint of green and fired, before noticing the mech turn to see who it was that shot him. Bulkhead grinned, aiming at his rival now and firing. Breakdown quickly dived behind a tree so the shot missed. He got hit in the back then, and knew someone else had to be around here. All of them were managing both to shoot opponents and get hit somehow. It didn’t escape any of the humans’ notice that Optimus and Megatron were fighting each other.

“When should we trigger the last trick?” Raf asked, pointing his mouse at the command.

“Wait until there are three minutes left, son.” Fowler told him.

“Not long then, what happens then?” June asked.

“All hell breaks loose!”

“Miko!” Jack scolded her.

Three minutes now remained until the end, and suddenly all of the trees disappeared; as though they had been holograms in the first place. Starscream had been leaning against one when it happened and so landed on the ground with a thud. Everyone either began shooting at every mech or femme within shooting distance or began ducking and trying to dodge. Knock Out discovered that cowering on the ground was a good strategy, at least until some of the mechs decided he clearly hadn’t been shot enough already and shot at him. He made sure to turn and shoot them back. It seemed a very long time before all of them heard a claxon and their guns all clicked. Some of the Decepticons and a couple of the Autobots tried to fire them and discovered they couldn’t.

“Time’s up!” Jack told all of them. A portal opened up right in the middle of the area.

XxX

“Come on back everyone; let’s find out how you did!” _And how ridiculous you all look!_ Miko added silently, not daring to annoy any of the Decepticons.

“One at a time please, so we can check on you.” Fowler grinned; knowing he wanted each one of them to turn around, slowly, so he could see exactly where they’d been hit. June smiled at who came through the portal first.

“I was not informed that this game was so… difficult.” Optimus paused to search for the word, but gave up; unsure how to voice his opinion.

“Turn around, slowly.” Miko grinned.

“Why?” Optimus looked confused.

“Because we need to scan you with this to find out who hit you.” Jack held up a scanner which looked alarmingly like a gun. Optimus remained facing them for a few seconds, before turning around slowly. Miko couldn’t help noticing the red one on Optimus’ shoulder, nor the white one on his upper thigh.

“Did Megatron shoot you?” Raf asked, sounding a little concerned.

“A few times I think, but I shot him as many times as he shot me, so we’re even.” Optimus was smirking under his mask; knowing if that had been his real blaster, Megatron would be offline right now.

“Alright, the next one of you can come through.” Fowler shouted over the intercom. Megatron came through next.

“Who got you?” Miko asked, trying not to laugh too hard.

“What do you mean?” Megatron asked.

“Probably the pink splash very close to your hips.” Optimus told him. Megatron winced.

“Turn around, slowly.” June told him.

“I bet you just want an excuse to…” Megatron saw the glare Fowler was giving him and went quiet. He did as June asked; slowly turning around. All five of the humans started laughing when they saw where one of the shots had hit.

“Guess someone wants to tap your…”

“Miko!” Jack interrupted her. Megatron looked confused.

“I know I got hit on my back, but…”

“Exactly!” Miko laughed.

“Who did it?!” Megatron realised what she was getting at.

“You’ll find out when everyone else gets back.” Raf told him, having a look at the log on his screen.

“Next!” Fowler shouted into the intercom, making some of the mechs jump. Starscream came through the portal next.

“I thought they might be targeted.” Jack pointed at Starscream’s wings, which seemed to have most of the paint on them.

“I wonder how that got there…” Megatron smirked, glancing at a splash of white paint on Starscream’s wing. It took a while, but now all but one of the Cybertronians had come back to base.

“Knock Out, come through. You can’t avoid it forever!” Miko shouted; eager for him to come back. Knock Out made his way through the portal, and most of the Cybertronians stood around started laughing.

“What happened to you?” Jack asked; the humans had started laughing at him too.

“ _He_ used me as bait!” Knock Out pointed an accusatory finger at Megatron, who held his hands up.

“Turn around, slowly.”

“Why, so you can laugh at how many times I got shot?” Knock Out grumbled.

“Just do it, and stop whining.” June told him off. Knock Out gave her a look at that said he didn’t care. Breakdown made his way over and whispered something in Knock Out’s audio.

“Really? You’d do that?” Breakdown nodded and Knock Out slowly turned around. More laughter ensued when his back was facing everyone else.

“What now?” He growled.

“Someone wants to tap your…” June looked pointedly at Miko, who went silent.

“Someone shot your rear.” Shockwave told him. Knock Out grumbled again, but didn’t ask who, yet. Once he’d been checked over, Raf put all of the data into his system, so it could work out who the winners were.

“That’s going to take a little while.” Raf told them.

“So, who wants to find out who hit them where?” Miko grinned, like she was the one with all the answers.

“I’ll bite. Who shot my rear?” Megatron glanced around the gathered mechs and femmes.

“It’s purple.” Optimus got a few strange looks for pointing it out.

“Starscream!” Jack pointed out, earning him a glare from the mech in question.

“Care to tell me why?” Megatron had turned his attention to Starscream now, much to everyone else’s amusement.

“I wasn’t aiming for it!” Starscream told him.

“Of course you weren’t. But, if you’re interested…” Megatron smirked; knowing what the answer was going to be.

“In your dreams!” Starscream answered indignantly, causing a few laughs. Knock Out then pondered who’d shot him.

“Me.” Breakdown answered before anyone else could.

“And yes, I was aiming for it.”

“Why?” _Will I want to know the answer?_ Knock Out added mentally.

“Just trying to stake a claim.” Miko shrieked with laughter in reaction, then turned to look at the boys and laughed some more.

“He wants you Doc!” She just about managed to say.

“Uh… the report is compiled. I can find out who won, if you’d like.” Raf told them, sounding a little embarrassed.

“Go ahead Rafael.” Optimus encouraged him, knowing that Raf was nervous of the large group looking at him.

“Right then, in 9th place…” Raf paused, turning to Agent Fowler to announce it.

“The white team.” Megatron growled.

“What?! How did that happen?”

“Gee I don’t know, maybe it happened because you used me as bait!” Knock Out glared at him.

“Don’t fight, you two.” June told them off, instantly dispelling the tension between the two.

“8th place…” Raf turned to Miko.

“Orange team!” She then glanced at Optimus.

“Maybe it was… unwise to challenge Megatron to one on one combat.” Optimus gave a knowing glance downward, where there were a lot of white splatters.

“7th is the purple team.” Raf told them.

“Probably his fault.” Starscream folded his arms, his paint splattered wings twitching in annoyance.

“Try yours, Starscream. You are the one covered in paint splatters.” Shockwave told him, folding his arms.

“6th place goes to…” Raf looked to Jack this time.

“The green team.” Jack told them.

“That’s probably because _he_ feigned hurting himself after falling out of a tree.” Bulkhead glared at Dreadwing, who gave him an innocent grin back.

“Not my fault you are so soft-sparked that you forget we are supposed to be enemies.” Dreadwing’s comment got a few shouts of annoyance from the other Autobots.

“Settle.” June gave all of them a disapproving look.

“The team in 5th place is…” Raf turned to agent Fowler again, who quickly responded.

“The pink team.”

“Guess divide and conquer didn’t work after all.” Cliffjumper remarked, not sounding too disappointed.

“I said I’d hit you were it hurt, didn’t I?” Smokescreen turned to Knock Out.

“And which shot would that have been?” Knock Out gestured to what he assumed were a stupidly high amount of splatters.

“Left headlight, on your chest.” Smokescreen told him.

“That part is no more sensitive than the rest of my chest.” Knock Out then heard Breakdown speak up.

“That’s not the impression I get when I’m cleaning you.” Breakdown’s comment got a few laughs and Raf could sense Knock Out probably wanted the attention drawn away from him for once.

“4th place was…” He looked at Miko.

“Let me call the winner! Please!” Raf nodded then turned to Jack instead.

“Yellow team.” Dreadwing and Breakdown both looked pleased with that.

“So, we’ve discovered that the rest of you clearly need to work on your target practice.”

“And you need to work on your balance so you don’t fall out of trees.” Bulkhead countered, making Dreadwing glare at him. Raf saw that as a good time to interrupt.

“3rd place goes to…” He paused, before telling them who it was.

“The blue team.” Raf then heard a chant start up and closed his eyes.

“No way!” Arcee glared at all of the mechs.

“Yeah, I’m not going to kiss her for your amusement.” Wheeljack looked away from them.

“So, no lone wolves hooking up?” Miko asked innocently.

“No. I didn’t make any kind of wager.” Arcee grinned, glancing at Megatron.

“I… need to know who the winners are first.” The look on Megatron’s face suggested he didn’t expect for a second that it wouldn’t be him.

“The team in 2nd place is…” Raf looked at June, who then glanced at his screen.

“The red team.” Megatron looked shocked. Skyquake shrugged, knowing that Dreadwing had shot him a few times, and that might have been why they didn’t win.

“Which means that the black team came 1st!” Miko cheered, before going slack-jawed at what happened next.

“Well done Shockwave and Ratchet.” Megatron surprised a few of the others as well by bowing at their feet.

“Get up! You really don’t need to…” Ratchet saw Megatron scramble back up to his feet and went silent.

“Why did you do that, master?” Shockwave asked.

“Because I said if I didn’t win, I would bow at the feet of the ones who did. I am a mech of my word!”

“I wish I won now.” Starscream folded his arms, imagining just that happening.

“Now, put the rings back in here…” June pushed a large box near the edge of the platform. Each mech took off the rings and put them back in the box.

“Smile!” Miko shouted before snapping a picture with her phone. All of the mechs visible looked slightly shocked or nervous. She started laughing.

“What?” Bulkhead gave her a confused look. That set Fowler and June laughing as well.

“You do know that you still have the paint splatters on you, don’t you?” Jack asked. Each of them then turned to each other and noticed that he was right.

“Time to head to the wash racks I think.” Knock Out gestured over his shoulder for Breakdown to follow him. The rest of them slowly headed after them, apart from a few certain mechs who clearly had something to say.

“Thank you for trying that experiment with us.”

“It was no problem Optimus; I could tell you lot needed some means of getting your aggression out of your systems.” Fowler smiled, holding his hands behind his back.

“ **It was really fun!** ” Bumblebee told them, Raf translated it for everyone else.

“Who knows, maybe you can all do it again sometime if a certain someone agrees.” Jack gave a glance to Megatron.

“If only so I can win next time.” Megatron smirked.

“You would still have to be partnered up by the simulator.” Raf told him.

“And hopefully get someone that is a better shot!” Megatron sniggered.

“And shouldn’t you lot get cleaned off now?” June asked.

“If you’re insisting Ms. Darby.” Megatron winked at her, before heading after everyone else. He knew it annoyed both Fowler and Jack; so kept doing it.

“You know, I hope he’s not trying to get my attention…” June looked to be considering something, which made both Jack and Fowler worry.

“You have to come see the pictures I took with my phone!”

“And the pictures from the cameras around the simulation arena.” Miko and Raf both told them. The other humans headed over to have a look, knowing that some of these pictures might be funny. They had to wait for Fowler’s friends to get back to them about the potential energon find.

**Author's Note:**

> The fic’s title comes from the Queen song of the same name. Skyquake got told off because it is bad luck to put a ring on the ring finger of your left hand if you're not married, supposedly. Fowler says 'arms up' because in the Japanese version of Prime, the Transformers shout it before attacking with their weapons. And no, Megatron isn't attracted to June; he's flirting with her because he knows it annoys Fowler and Jack! And yes, it really did have to be a Seeker fall out of tree! Yes, a few of them got shot in their rears, and apparently didn't notice! Hinted Megatron/Starscream and Knock Out/Breakdown just because. I'll leave it up to your imaginations what Breakdown whispered to Knock Out. And I’m sure you’ve heard enough of my bluster… I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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